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Oregon Trail T-Shirt – You Died from Listening to RFK Jr.

Remember when life was simple?

You’d load up your wagon, name it something inappropriate, and die from dysentery before reaching the Willamette Valley.

Good times.

Well, welcome to the modern Oregon Trail — where the only thing more dangerous than a snake bite is listening to RFK Jr. for too long without medical supervision.

This shirt pays tribute to every kid who learned geography, trauma, and sarcasm from a floppy disk — and every adult who now realizes the real plague was misinformation.

Product Details:

• 100% Preshrunk Cotton: Softer than your denial of scientific consensus.
• Classic Fit: Built for comfort, crisis, and casual existential dread.
• Vintage-Style Print: Straight out of your computer lab circa 1994.
• Tear-Away Label: Because we’ve all had enough irritations already.

Why You’ll Love It:

🎮 Perfect for gamers, teachers, and anyone who misses dial-up tones.

🧠 Great icebreaker — or argument starter — depending on the crowd.

🐂 Looks great at the bar, the gym, or your next wagon wheel repair.

😷 Guaranteed to outlast your attention span during political podcasts.

Tagline:

“You have died of disbelief. Press spacebar to respawn.”