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Oregon Trail: You Died from Listening to RFK Jr. Hoodie

Ah, the Oregon Trail — where the graphics were 8-bit, the oxen were loyal, and your greatest fear was dysentery…

Until now.

Slip into this ultra-soft hoodie and relive the glory days of old-school gaming — but with a modern twist. Because in 2025, you don’t die from cholera. You die from listening to RFK Jr. explain vaccines for three hours straight.

Product Details:

• Super Soft Cotton Blend: As comforting as a wagon ride through denial.
• Classic Fit: Perfect for conspiracy debates or just quietly giving up on humanity.
• Bold Retro Print: Pixel art so authentic you’ll almost hear the dial-up modem.
• Front Pouch Pocket: For snacks, hand sanitizer, and emotional support.

Why You’ll Love It:

🎮 Nostalgia hits harder than a dysentery outbreak.

🧠 Great conversation starter — or ender, depending who’s around.

😷 Looks cool while you pretend to Google “What’s in vaccines again?”

🐂 Perfect for trailblazers, skeptics, and anyone who still thinks AOL is making a comeback.

Tagline:

“You’ve traveled 2,000 miles, lost three oxen, and your will to live — all thanks to RFK Jr.”